So it happened. We bought a can of mock duck. We opened it. We put it in our mouths. Tastiness ensued.
Yes the mock duck tasted good*. Look at our faces, that is a look of succulence.
We are The Holy Trinity.
We thought the flavour might be further improved by frying it. You know, like normal duck. I’ll take mine rare please chef!
Somehow cooking it made it more gelatinous. Loads more chewy. And the skin did not crisp up for some strange reason! Fancy that hey!
It was a wretch enducing substance. Moreso because of the consistency they tried (and failed) to imitate. If it was just duck flavoured soy this would be much more of an improvement. Soy duck brick.
Kids love the scent of mock duck.
Would I eat it again? Hell. To the fucking no.
Would I make it for Come Dine With me? Yes but not as a duck substitute. Probably for.. erm… ok fine. No.
Would I serve it to a child? Yes, and get them to develop a taste for it somehow. Then watch the ridicule they’d get as they got older and older and always had to have a can of mock duck on them.
Overall score: minus 1 duck/10
*Read: absolutely fucking horrible. Like rubber quorn soaked in shit vegetable stock.